Alex visits as well, letting her know that things are sucky in Alex-land and that she is probably going to skip town just to be safe. Larry and Polly visit Piper for her best scene of the season, in which she takes out a ton of aggression on them that barely even has to do with them, but yelling at Larry is God's work no matter where the impulse comes from. Meanwhile, that one guard that nobody cares about is down with the nuns, yelling at them about Catholic school BS, and I guess if you like banjolele parody tunes about nuns, probably you'd enjoy that part even if I thought personally that it was dumb. Caputo immediately comes into the picture, hyped about solving problems-and scared about the mass of nuns parked outside the gate protesting her treatment-and Jane makes quite a production of "finally eating" due to his immense managerial capabilities.
Sister Ingalls agrees to eat something if Red will admit who attacked her, which, even though it comes to naught, still gets that nutcase to eat a muffin. Bennett suggests "Frank" if it's a boy if it's a girl my first thought is "Leighton." Ugh.) Caputo, worried about proving himself as Fig's interim replacement, shuts that whole stupid idea down immediately, and Bennett is charming and quick-witted as usual, and eventually Daya pulls her ass together to the degree that she is ever able to, and I guess they are having a prison baby.
(Can anybody explain her point about all this to me? I sincerely don't get it, and I think there's probably something I'm missing, but Daya this season just. Why would you have a Uzo Aduba and then not use her? Makes no sense at all.ĭaya continues to be an absolute irrational nightmare, finally convincing Bennett after a thousand episodes of bitching to turn himself in for impregnating her, which still isn't going to do anybody any goddamn good. It is unbelievable to me that we got so little of import out of Suzanne, after all-Pennsatucky too, not that I'm complaining-but it's funny that their best moments all take place in the last two episodes, after a whole season of basically not doing anything at all. Meanwhile, Vee has escaped through the greenhouse tunnel, but at least Crazy Eyes isn't going to an even worse place than Litchfield, and in the process gets to do more of her Crazy Eyes stuff than she has all season. This was a harrowing sequence of events, because even with all four of Vee's former groupies demanding that Crazy Eyes be set free, it still takes a mocked-up lie told by a white guy to convince the investigators. Suzanne eventually gets confused about where she even was during the attack, and Healy gets that electric guy to manufacture evidence that exculpates her. But only after going along with her plan to sacrifice Crazy Eyes to the investigation. There's Norma and Gloria, who do a magic spell, and Vee's former crew, who reform without her once Vee scares Black Cindy half to death with her intensity.
It takes a while to reveal that Red's not dead, just in medical next to Sister Jane, so Vee spends a the early part of the episode running around trying to rally her forces before she finds out that somebody (Nicky, turns out) has stolen her stash of heroin in order to get her locked down so everybody in the prison can feel like they're in just their regular amount of danger from before Vee showed up.Īlso looking to take Vee down are: Everybody. Of course, life has already done just that, thanks to her marriage disintegrating, so he plays the situation for all it's worth, including a humiliating blowjob, before explaining that the Warden already has all the proof he needs to fire her forever. A couple of outside investigators show up to investigate the attack on Red, sidestepping Caputo and anybody else who tries to actually help them, because they are there to get marching orders from Figueroa, who is of course the worst.Ĭaputo, frustrated, makes time to grill Piper on her office thievery during the storm, and before you know it he's bounding into Fig's office, ready to take her down.